From The News Sun (Waukegan, IL) Sep. 18, 2008

Joseph Muller

GURNEE - During the summer of her junior year in high school, Dominique Whitehead's body went through some unique changes. She was getting larger, and she was dealing with frequent bouts of nausea.

"I was in denial," she said. But after six months, Whitehead couldn't deny it anymore. "That's not my stomach," she concluded. "I'm pregnant."

Amidst all her uncertainty, Whitehead was sure of one thing - "I knew I had to keep the baby and take care of it," she said.

Life for Whitehead at Warren Township High School was hard. Between taking classes, doing homework, working at a job and taking care of her baby, she didn't have time for much else. "School was always a big priority for me," she said.

But at Warren, Whitehead learned about a program called Teen Mother Choices, a Christian organization for teenage mothers. At first she was resistant, but decided to join the program because she wanted to learn how to be a better parent.

"Who better than God to help me be a better parent," Whitehead said.

Teen Mother Choices is a Christian non-profit organization that empowers teenage mothers not only to become independent, but also to become good parents.

"Being a good parent is much more than just having a child," Whitehead said.

Through goal-setting, skill workshops, child-care support and one-on-one mentoring, TMC equips teenage mothers with what they need to become functioning members of society. "We do whatever we need to get them toward independence," TMC founder and Executive Director Christa March said.

March said she thought about starting TMC after going to a mall food court in March of 1988. While eating, she noticed what looked like teenagers rolling baby strollers.

"They looked like they should be in school," March said. Out of curiosity, March began asking them questions. Their answers startled her: They weren't at school because they couldn't afford child care and couldn't find anybody else to watch their children. March left the mall in tears. "How could I tell pregnant teens not to abort their children and then not offer to help them once they became mothers?" March thought.

To join TMC, Whitehead needed to fill out an application. Each one of the three TMC offices in Antioch, Gurnee and Arlington Heights only serve seven women at any time, allowing their program to be more involved in their teen mothers' lives.

After gaining acceptance into TMC, each teenage mother and a counselor set goals toward becoming independent - finishing high school, getting a driver's license, getting a college degree or getting child care. The teen mothers spend their time obtaining these goals and setting different ones as time goes on. Whitehead, now almost done with taking classes at the College of Lake County, plans on getting a bachelor's degree in accounting.

To stay in TMC, teen mothers must refrain from having another baby, get at least Cs in school, and stay committed to accomplishing the goals they set.

"We make them work hard," March said.

Through this program, teen mothers can also get financial assistance for child care, an issue for teen mothers trying to get though school while taking care of a child at the same time, March said.

Every week TMC has a skills workshop, where teenage mothers learn practical skills ranging from finances to organization, or nutrition to parenting. "The life skills classes are amazing," Whitehead said. During the workshops, a volunteer group watches the teen mothers' children and cooks a meal for the group.

While attending the workshops, the teen mothers build close relationships with each other. "I've made so many friends by coming here," Whitehead said. "Being with other teen moms is a learning experience. We get the chance to teach each other about being a mom. It's better than trying to do it yourself."

To help on a more personal level, TMC has each teen mother build a relationship with a mentor. These mentors, all experienced moms, not only build a deep relationship with their teenage mother, but learn to help their teenage mother in a way group sessions can't.

"Our relationship is the best ever," Whitehead said. "I don't feel afraid to talk with her about anything." During their weekly Wednesday lunches, Whitehead and her mentor, Marcia Furrow, have talked about a wide range of subjects - boyfriends, jobs, God, the difference between raising boys and girls, and potty train tips.

Furrow, a TMC mentor for 10 years, is mentoring her fourth teenage mother. "At first its difficult," she said. "The girls ask themselves 'why does this organization want me to be friends with this old woman?'" But after a while, Furrow noted, they begin to open up. "It helps to break the ice by taking them out to lunch," she said.

Whitehead isn't the only one learning something from their teen-mentor relationship, Furrow said. When one of Furrow's sons married, Whitehead helped her relate to her new daughter-in-laws. "She gave me a unique perspective that helped me smooth over things," Furrow added.

The teenage mothers tend to keep in touch with their mentors after they graduate from the program. Furrow said one of her previous teen mothers still visits her house often, and that she still periodically has lunch with her other past teen mothers. "I have two boys, and now I can a whole houseful of girls," Furrow said.